Should we do a “First Look” at our wedding?

**This blog contains affiliate links and I may be compensated if you make a purchase after clicking on my links.

As a Wedding Photographer I am so honored to not only be a part of a bride and groom’s big day, but also part of the planning leading up to it. I am often one of the first vendors they meet with. Once they reach out to me about possibly being their wedding photographer, I schedule a consultation right away so that we can get to know each other, I can find out more about them and their plans, and they can find out more about me and how I work.

Most of them are getting married for the first time and I often bring up questions about decisions they haven’t made yet. One of the biggest decisions is often whether or not to do a “First Look”.

The reason I bring up this decision is because whether you see each other for the first time as the bride comes down the alter, or you do a First Look will determine how much time you have for photographs and when you have that time. When I got married 15 years ago First Looks were just becoming a thing and it was our photographer who brought it up and we decided it was the best choice for us. Weren’t we cute?

We knew after the ceremony was over we would be excited to start celebrating with our friends and family and wanted to have as many of our photos as possible done prior to then. It wasn’t something that was done often yet though and I have to admit I was a little worried to miss the traditional moment where we saw each other for the first time as I came down the aisle. However, I think we were both pleasantly surprised at some of the benefits other than “time” that came with doing a First Look. What makes a wedding perfect is different for every couple though so here are some of the advantages to both to help you decide what fits best into your Big Day!

First Look

I will start with the First Look list because I consider myself a bit of an expert with them since I have experienced them both as a Photographer and a Bride. Here are my “Pro First Look” arguments.

• Less photo time after the ceromony (More party time!). Because the bride and groom see each other before the ceremony, you can also knock out as many of the photos as time allows including entire wedding party together and if desired Bride and Groom Portraits (although I still always take some of these afterwards to so they have some as “official” husband and wife). This means that you can get to the reception faster and start having fun!
• A more intimate moment. That first moment you and your future spouse see each other on your wedding day is going to be amazing now matter what. Those who choose to do a first look though get to share that moment with each other without a couple hundred people watching. I remember that moment so clearly from our wedding. I was walked down to where my (future) husband was standing- his back facing me. Once I was behind him and the photographer snapped a couple of photos they had him turn around and instead of being all the way down the aisle, we were right in front of each other. I remember hearing him gasp! We then had time to talk and tell each other how great we looked…something you can’t exactly do in the ceremony.
• Less pre-ceremony stress. Once the first look is over, you can enjoy photos together. I remember really enjoying this time and getting to spend a little extra time with my fiance’ on our special day instead of hiding up somewhere so we didn’t accidentally see each other.

A word of advice…

First Looks can be a very special moment between a couple. They can also be awkward if you don’t think about the moment and plan how you want it to go in advance. Remember, you won’t be totally alone. The photographer and videographer will be in the general area too. Try and forget about them and plan on having a genuine moment together and just let them capture it. Take each other in. Ask each other questions like “Are you ready?”, “nervous?”, “excited?”. I have had couples who see each other, then look for me and thinking they need to be smiling at the camera or sometimes flat out saying “what do we do now?”. If you have gifts for each other you could even exchange them during the first look.

At The Aisle

• Tradition. Let’s face it. Most of us have been picturing this day since we were very young. Between watching weddings in the movies and attending them in person we most likely imagine that moment where we lock eyes with our future spouse for the first time on our wedding day at the end of the aisle. If that’s the moment you have always dreamed of, that’s your answer.
• You can get ready later. While most see getting photos done prior to the ceremony as a benefit, the more time you need pre-ceremony for photos means the earlier you have to be ready. If your ceremony is fairly early in the afternoon that might mean getting a very early start to your day. Also, it can mean more time for hair and make-up to get messy and need touch ups.
• Less chance of crying pre-ceremony. For some couples, the first look can be really emotional and there might be tears. I had one couple that planned on it but then the bride decided she would cry and ruin her make-up and decided to wait until the aisle last minute. Just don’t forget about that moment that daddy’s see their daughter for the first time because there usually isn’t a dry eye in the house during that moment (including the photographer…do you know how hard it is to focus the camera through tears?).

A word of advice…

If you decide not to do a First Look, you will still have plenty of time to get your photos in. Hopefully your photographer will provide you with a timeline and “must-have” shot list so you can plan out when everything will take place (if not you can find one online). Also, remember that the first time your fiance’ will be laying eyes on you, you will be on opposite ends of the aisle. This makes it tricky (actually pretty much impossible) for the photographer to get both of your reactions at that exact moment. It is worthwhile to consider a second shooter if your photographer offers that option to make sure you have great shots of both the bride and the groom.

No matter what you do, that first moment that you lay eyes on your husband or wife will be one to remember. Hopefully taking these points into consideration will help you decide which best fits into your special day.

I am a wedding and portrait photographer in Kansas City. Check out my Professional Website for more of my work at: www.heathernealphotography.com